Looking up!

So this week I am on vacation, and usually when on vacation, I run harder because Daniel will be there to help me with the kids. But this one, I am giving my back a break and resting for a week to see if that helps.

I am also finding that I am not satisfied with anything these days! It is depressing! I realized, I might be looking at all the negative and that is why I am not satisfied with anything.

So I am starting a new way of thinking.....looking up....or positive thinking. When something is not right or the way I want (or think it should be) I am going to look for the good around me. I hope this helps in all areas of life for me.

There is so much negative things going on in the world that we can not control. So I am taking control of the thing I can....my thoughts!

Talk to you soon!!

I'm still TRYING.....

Yes I am still training....and dieting. I just stopped numbering my titles.

I am still TRYING to figure out why I can't get my head in the game. What game, the game of running! I think I have figured it out though. I just need to pace myself. (easier said then done) But I am getting better, and feeling more confident in my running (though it may be slow) I will get back to where I was. :)

Also TRYING to figure out this game of motherhood..how I am supposed to parent, and discipline. No one does it these day, (discipline) so I never know what I am supposed to do. My first son was so different from my second son, and both my sons are different from any kids I nannied for growing up. So all the knowledge I have in my head goes to waste on my kids. Of course some comes in handy, but most I am "flying by the seat of my pants!"

Also TRYING to figure out this game of life. How to be a good friend, how to just get out of the house everyday to just do something. How to make friends, and KEEP them. How to figure out what I like to do as maybe a hobby, and just who am I going to be.

That is some of the things I am TRYING to figure out, (other then figuring out what I want to say in my blog, cause I know I forgot half of the things I wanted to say.)

Talk to you later!

Comfortable clothes!!

Just a slip into my brain, during the training...why is it that in every book or clip of motherhood info I read, it always talks about how a women "let herself go" when she is wearing sweatpants, or "comfortable clothes?"

Now here is the twist, an 18 year old can wear sweatpants and pull it as an outfit. She just pulls her hair up and slings on a headband and,and out she goes. But no one thinks she is "letting herself go."

Or the comfy volleyball shorts that are not jean, why do those go unnoticed as "letting herself go?"


What ever, just thought a few of you could relate. So in honor of the collage student, I am wearing comfy volley ball shorts and not "letting myself go" just being comfortable!

:)

day 9 & 10

No running, for me. One day was a rest day....thankfully because my back is still a bit injured, and pushing the stroller is a little waring. The other was a cross training. I swam because it has been so hot.

Let me tell you what I wish...I wish I could run everyday without my kids. It is not that I don't love them, I am just with them all day long and running for me was started as a "me time" thing seven years ago. I have to just suck it up and run with my kids though, they are not going anywhere. :)

I also wish that the plans in my head for the day, would actually happen. But most of the time a needy baby, or a tired toddler, need me. So I stop what I am doing for them because, they ARE what matter. Not my running time, or how clean my house is, them, just them.

My greatest wish would be for my back to stop teasing me, as if it is better. Then put me out the next day with pain. I will be going to a massage lady and then to a doctor Monday if the pain does not go away. I think if I didn't have kids it would be healed, but since I have highchairs, cribs, and just hugs from mom, I am not able to rest it completely.

Thats all for today... hope you enjoy!! :)

day 8

To start this one, I did run/walk and my back was sort of good through out the run. Now it is just nagging me.

The food thing is going good too, I finally stopped feeling too hungry!!

My sons are testing me in many ways as usual. Talon talks back constantly and Aiden is just happy outside doing his own thing! If we lived at the beach my life would be much easier, because Aiden loves the sand......thinking sandbox right now.

I don't know, not much to say at this moment, but I am sure, like other days, when I post this I will think of many more great things to say!

See ya for now!

day 7

This one hurts....literally! So somehow I pulled my shoulder blade muscle, and was completely laid out yesterday. The nagging pain is still there taunting me say "I could do it again!!" So needless to say I didn't run yesterday and because I am the main momma around here, I will probably not go today.

So frustrated!!

day 5-6

Yes i am mushing them into one, because the weekend gets all thrown together, and life is hectic.

Saturday was rest so, I went to "over the line." Where I stood and walked around all day, and made my calf so tight!! So when Sunday rolled around, my calf was just screaming at me. I was supposed to do 4, but I ran walked 3. Still good yes, but I am getting to a point in my brain where I am giving up. It is something Jillian Michaels would be making me work through, but I don't have her here to figure out "my brain." But I am trying to figure it out. I have figured out that when running with people, I am more prone to giving up instead of pushing myself like I do when I am alone.

Again, today is a new day and it calls for 3 mile run + strength training. Lets just hope I can get on track again.

I am "getting comfortable with being uncomfortable!" :)

Day 4

Got my butt kicked by my sisters-in law. I have just been running and working out hard this week so I couldn't stay at there pace. They are nice enough to stop with me and take my jogger with my heavy kids inside, but still my mind and body weren't in it. I was having a bad moring and I chalk it up to bad mind mojo. Because its all in your head!

I also have been thinking a lot about how weird it is that we go through life and meet people, and some stay and some go. Some we talk to off and on. Daniel and I went and saw the movie "Grown Ups." It was so funny and I recommend it for everyone! But I think it made me think of all the friends I have had. Right now I am in a different place then a lot of the friends I grew up with. I don't have my "comfortable friends" right now. I am getting to know a lot of really great people that I hope will be long term friendships. But you just don't know what life holds.....ok I am going deep, but this is in my head and I have to let it out. I guess I am just a little (dare I say it) "lonely." I think a lot of mothers with young children are too, I am just saying it out loud.

Well, I will end it with, I ran three miles and lost two lbs so far. Today is a new day and also a rest day. Talk to you later!

Day 3

Day 3 was good. On the schedule was to do cross-training, as in do anything other then run, and make it light. I decided to use my stationary spin bike, but 40 mins in to it, while listening to my iPod, I hear screaming coming from the baby's room. I let it go and keep spinning, but he keeps screaming. So I go in there to try and calm him down, with no luck. So I had to finish my bike and do crunches instead. Both work, so I am not upset about it. I just don't know why I got the kid who never sleeps!! At least I did something, and tomorrow is another day! Thanks all!

Day 2

Uggg, so I could not go out yesterday. Thankfully the training has a day of rest on it and I can maneuver things around, but still can't help but feel guilty. Who knows why. I should just get over the fact that I was waiting for my husband to get home so I could go run, and then he calls to tell me he is helping his mom out, and now it is too late to go with the boys. I will be fine and go out today, but it is just the start and I am hard on myself.

The dieting is going good (hard) but good. I have issues with food, so when I do things my way I end up over weight and unhappy. That is why I have my husband to train and support me. Thankfully we are doing it together again, (he will lose more weight and faster then me) but it is nice to not be alone.

Don't have much to say today. Maybe another story will come later.

On a good/great note, one of my good friends is having a baby girl!! About a year ago she lost a baby to Trisomy 13. It was a very hard thing for her, and everyone around her. She dealt with it like a champ, and has now become pregnant with another girl! God is so good!!

Talk to you later!

Day 1

Today, is about yesterdays run, pacifiers, and fences.

Well the matter at hand is the run. I ran my three miles yesterday to start my training. I had a babysitter watch the kids so I could start off strong. It felt great!! I even had a ten minute mile...I know not too fast, but for me to jump right back into a ten minute mile was just what I needed. I ran at lake murray, and even though I breathe like I am dieing, and it may hurt sometimes, I just kept telling myself "if it were easy everyone would be doing it." That is usually the pep talk I give myself, among others. Not very sore today, but was not expecting to be.

Again this is the training within my life, so you get the other stories as well. Which one, is a pacifier. It was not so helpful with my first son. But the day Denise got Aiden to take the little blue passy they give you, my life was changed! They are wonderful really, in the car, in public places and especially for night time! But now we are saying goodbye! I don't want Aiden to speak funny because he is always trying to talk with the pacifier in his mouth. Also at 3am he would wake up looking for it, and I like getting sleep. It is hard for me, because I just think he looks cute with it in his mouth. But this will be good. As of right now, he is screaming himself to sleep..."I wont give in, I wont give in!"

Then comes the fence. The fence in our backyard, (which we rent so technically not our backyard) but our neighbor, wants to fix the fence, and have someone help him. To bring you to speed on things, my husband and his business partner work so hard, they don't have much time for anything else. Especially for a fence they don't think needs fixing. But it is getting fix (with a fuss by neighbor boy) and we can't go in our backyard for two days. Not much to say more, just venting it out so I don't think about it.

Well, that is all. The training part going good so far but it is only day 1, so we will see on day 20, mile 60. (?)

Journy to the Silver Strand!!

Here is what I am thinking.....writing a blog about my "half marathon" training. Since training sometimes gets hard and you want to give up, I thought this might keep me accountable. I will try to write everyday about my training and how it is going, all in order with my crazy nest I keep at home with all my boys. :)(should be fun!)

I am a person who would rather give up in situations then push through. I know that is probably why I am heavier than I would like to be after my second baby. With my first, I exercised and ate right and the weight seemed to fall off. This one, is two lbs a week if I am lucky. Oh, also my stroller has gotten a lot heavier with my 38 pound three year old and my 26 pound one year old to push. Do you see where I am getting, I find any excuse to give up, give in or whatever, just so I don't have to do it! But here and now, that stops. I am using this to be accountable and finish what I start.

I ran a marathon about four/five years ago, and guess what, I didn't do very much to....TRAIN. Yes I was running consistently, but never did I go over a six mile run to prepare for a 26.2 marathon. However I finished. This time I want to train right and run the race good! (sounds like a quote from the walls of a gym) I am not saying I won't complain, or that I think this is going to be easy. I just hope that me writing about it, will keep me on track and at pace.

I am hoping to get in shape a bit while doing this, so many of the blogs may also be about me being hungry, because you can't train and not have a hungry body. I will also try to fib on this too, so again you're my accountability. (I say you my blog world, but I now it is me) By fibbing, I mean cheat on my eating and give up also.

So here I go on my adventure, today is my first day to run three miles, so tomorrow I will let you know how its goings!!

Also I realized I forgot to tell you when and where the race is.....this is reflecting my state of denial that gets me to not train in the first place! But it is down the silver strand, on November 14. Running with my sister in laws (as usual.) If I am doing anything that is a race...it is with them!! :) But we love it!!