Thursday, October 4, 2012

Me and my belly.

Well as u know from my last post, I am turning my life around and getting healthy. I know it doesn't happen overnight. But the efforts, goals and accountability that I have in and around me, keep me positive about the journey I'm on.

Ok, so the place I gain the most is my belly. I joke (half insecure) when my sister is around with her eighth month old baby boy (my precious nephew) that I, look like I, just had him, not her. But such is life and that's where I gain it. Everyone is different.

But this last weekend, while having a kid free weekend, and feeling free and beautiful. A friend pats my belly (in regards to me saying my pants keep falling down) "well if you loose the belly." now pause- I know already that I have a belly as I mentioned before, and I know I am doing stuff to take steps to loosing it.-ok unpause. To say the least I was mortified. She said it soft enough that only I could hear, but at the time I was finally not focused on my weight and how I look. I constantly think about how I look, so when it's not on my mind, it is very relaxing.

So of course, I cry, and say "I can't believe you said that" an run outside to tell my loving husband. Who went on to tell me how beautiful and funny i am and everyone likes me. So he gave me the comfort I needed. But I couldn't shake it.

I am not one to be sad... Umm at all. I don't like it and don't see the point. I would much rather laugh then be sad or mad. So the rest of the night I couldn't shake it and everyone could tell I wasn't myself, so every time someone asked if I was ok, it would make me break down again. (I know such a girl)

But, ok, to sum up. I was devastated and felt huge! But went on to have an even better Monday and fitness goal week, month and year. I want to be fit. And not to rub it in anyone's face, because the woman (yes woman) who said it apologized and felt horrible. But more to take charge of how I felt in that situation. I felt weak and like some one pointed me out in my bra and underwear. So I need to take control of myself, so I look an feel the way I want and that which is heathy, so that if anything happens like that again, I can laugh it off instead of have it ruin my night completely.

So to sum it up, along with my last blog, I am as on board as I want to be toward fitness. I want it to be a lifestyle not a diet. But also, be careful what you say, you never know what place the person your saying anything to, is in.