Me and my belly.

Well as u know from my last post, I am turning my life around and getting healthy. I know it doesn't happen overnight. But the efforts, goals and accountability that I have in and around me, keep me positive about the journey I'm on.

Ok, so the place I gain the most is my belly. I joke (half insecure) when my sister is around with her eighth month old baby boy (my precious nephew) that I, look like I, just had him, not her. But such is life and that's where I gain it. Everyone is different.

But this last weekend, while having a kid free weekend, and feeling free and beautiful. A friend pats my belly (in regards to me saying my pants keep falling down) "well if you loose the belly." now pause- I know already that I have a belly as I mentioned before, and I know I am doing stuff to take steps to loosing it.-ok unpause. To say the least I was mortified. She said it soft enough that only I could hear, but at the time I was finally not focused on my weight and how I look. I constantly think about how I look, so when it's not on my mind, it is very relaxing.

So of course, I cry, and say "I can't believe you said that" an run outside to tell my loving husband. Who went on to tell me how beautiful and funny i am and everyone likes me. So he gave me the comfort I needed. But I couldn't shake it.

I am not one to be sad... Umm at all. I don't like it and don't see the point. I would much rather laugh then be sad or mad. So the rest of the night I couldn't shake it and everyone could tell I wasn't myself, so every time someone asked if I was ok, it would make me break down again. (I know such a girl)

But, ok, to sum up. I was devastated and felt huge! But went on to have an even better Monday and fitness goal week, month and year. I want to be fit. And not to rub it in anyone's face, because the woman (yes woman) who said it apologized and felt horrible. But more to take charge of how I felt in that situation. I felt weak and like some one pointed me out in my bra and underwear. So I need to take control of myself, so I look an feel the way I want and that which is heathy, so that if anything happens like that again, I can laugh it off instead of have it ruin my night completely.

So to sum it up, along with my last blog, I am as on board as I want to be toward fitness. I want it to be a lifestyle not a diet. But also, be careful what you say, you never know what place the person your saying anything to, is in.

Saying goodby to the ill start tomorrows

So we all know how the saying "ill start tomorrow" goes. It is used for multiple things!! Laundry, cleaning, working out, eating right, being kind. There is just one thing, usually the "tomorrow" part doesn't happen "tomorrow."

I have lost weight and gained. I had my first son and then lost some of the weight after. Then had my second and have not lost since. I have actually gotten bigger. I still look pregnant. Every time I tried, I would fail or have cravings because I wasn't getting enough of something.

So this will now become my journey to health. A.J. Jacobs writes a book about "drop dead healthy" (which I am currently reading) but instead of all the fad diets, it's more about over all health. Such as stand instead of sit all the time, turn down the volume in your life, and chew slowly. But his goal wasn't to be the skinniest ever, just as healthy as he could be. I am agreeing with him. I want to be healthy. I think the loose fit clothing will go hand in hand with that.

So I have signed up for a beachbody membership. It has coaches and groups and meal plans. It tracks your progress and workouts. Everyone is very nice and encouraging. I plan to workout 5-7 days a week. Wether it is walking/running or a hard core video. I just want to be active. But with the meal plan they give you, I can now have the right nutrient when trying to get the weight off for good.

So I am going to try to blog my journey to health/fatlostforgood. I turn thirty in eight months. So I plan to look better by then. Cause as we all know, fast results don't always stay. :)

Everything is alright.

Ever felt like, everyone has it together, but you? I constantly struggle with this. I feel like other mothers do more with their kids. Or other ladys have more drive, persistence, and even dedication then I do. But is that really the case? One mom/lady might have a great made up home, with the cutest decorations, but maybe she isn't happy. Then there is the mom or lady who has her workout routine down and eats healthy, but maybe it is a struggle everyday for her to not eat candy or just over eat. As a mom, it is hard to not look at other moms and compare yourself. Some scrapebook, some make their kids costumes, some make all food from scratch. Every mom has her trades and great qualities. But it doesnt mean they have it all together. It doesn't mean that they don't have the same bad days as I do. But yet we all still feel alone in how we feel. Whenever someone asks me about my kids, or marriage, or just life, I say it's hard. I don't lie. It is hard. Is it fun and have its perks and most days arent the bad days, but sometimes they are. Why lie to someone who might feel like I do about everyone having it all together. Then when I tell most anyone who asks, the real truth about my life, they always feel so much better that they aren't the only one. Isn't that what we all want. To not be alone/loney, or feel like what is happening in your life, your not the only one who is going through it. So when someone asks, "how's everything?" don't just say "everythings alright" tell them, your having a bad day, or whatever you may be going through, cause you might just find your not alone, or you might just make someone feel better that they are not the only one going through a tough time.