A help or a hindrance?

Are the people around you a help or a hindrance? This is what I sometimes wonder, when someone is going through a hard time or a move or just seeking advice. Are the people around you positive or negative? The reasons I say this is we have situations come into our lives and I think the people around us have a big influence on how we react to those situations. (I know there are those who are saying "not me" but yes you too.)

I have a friend who moved to Japan for three years with her husband. She doesn't know anyone there, nor can she speak Japanese. But she went with an open mind and open heart to see whats there for her in this journey of her life. I think she had such a great mind set, because the people who surround her were positive about her going. They didn't tell her she shouldn't go, or that she will hate it. No we all encouraged her to know she can do this. We did tell her it wouldn't be easy at first, but that she would be able to push past that and enjoy herself. If she had people around her telling her she was crazy or it's a bad idea, I think her move would have been much harder.

Also when someone is fighting with a spouse, these positive people come into play. How would you like it if you knew your spouse (or other person) had a friend, who every time you got into an argument or disagreement, (whatever you call it, cause we all have them) told your person to leave you. Just because of an argument. No you want a friend who just might tell you that in the argument, you might be wrong, or just forgive whatever they did because they love you, or tell you to breathe before you make any crazy decisions.

Another time is when you might just be going through a tough time in life. A loss of a friend or family member. A break up. Or just plan old going a little nuts. (yes we all do that too) at that time you want positive people around you to make sure you don't believe the things your brain is telling you that are negative. Or tell you everything will be ok. Or just be there for you.

I don't think just when someone is angry, for any reason, should the person you talk to just be mad cause your mad. Sad yes. But mad no. Get mad when it is valid. But just be there for someone in any of these situations to be a friend who is just there and listens.

The tales of a nagging wife.

There are many ways to get a man to do what you want. One, you can ask him nicely. Two, you can drop subtle hints until he figures out what the heck you want. Three, you can just put him down for anything he does wrong till he, maybe, does it right. Four you can completely complain about all the things he does wrong to everyone an still yell at him about what he does or doesn't do. (these don't work well)

A nagging wife, has yet to see the fruitfulness (sounds biblical I know) of a wife who uplifts her husband. The nagging wife will complain about what her husband hasn't done and she will complain it not only to him but to everyone. (not good for mans self esteem, hence the reason he probably isn't doing good in the first place)

See men need to at least think they are doing things right so they continue to try hard to do all you ask of them. They want to show off and be "superman" to everyone else but be "Clark kent" with their wives. So we can't talk poorly about them outside the home because it actually makes them be worse in our home.

We all know, behind a good man, there is a good women. Every good man will go back to his wife, sister, mother or friend to seek advice on what he is planning. (like I said a good man, not all do this but, are they good men) but being said, that good man has a good wife, sister, mother or friend who sits on the side lines, just watching him in his glory. Doesn't brag about the idea she gave him or how she made him be the way he is. Every good man knows this is true. They will boast about their wife, sister, mother, or friend. They will love them. They will do everything to be what that person wants or needs. Because they have had the same love shown to them.

So nagging wives. Stop talking to your husbands about the bath towels on the ground or the socks that never get put in the hamper. Stop nagging about the little things that really don't matter. Here is a challenge, the next time you feel yourself getting mad about something your husband does (that doesn't really matter) think of something good to tell him he did instead.

We all like hearing the good instead of the bad, and there is a time to talk about what "bad" there might be to talk about. But not everyday not every moment. Bring more good into your relationship then bad. It will do wonders for your relationship.

Tumble weed friend

We all know what a tumble weed is. It's basically a bush that turns into a big ball of weeds that rolls from here to there and may get stuck sometimes but just keeps rolling.

Well this week I feel like that is me in friendships. I feel like I go from friend to friend, sometimes I hang around long and sometimes for only a short while. But for some reason the wind blows me away. May it be on my part or theirs is the question.

I see people who have close friendships and close friends they have had forever and sometimes I wonder why can't I have that. Yes I may be having a pitty party but it's how I feel, like it or not.

What makes a good friend? I feel like I can be a good friend. I am nice and I love to have fun and laugh, but I can also be serious. Am I doing something wrong? Not sure.

Truth be told it is a lonely feeling. And hopefully you know I am talking about a good girlfriend. My husband of course is my best friend but even he doesn't get it.

Maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places. Or maybe I give off a bad vibe. If you have good friends, I would love your input on what you think I could do better. Just spilling my thoughts.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone