A help or a hindrance?

Are the people around you a help or a hindrance? This is what I sometimes wonder, when someone is going through a hard time or a move or just seeking advice. Are the people around you positive or negative? The reasons I say this is we have situations come into our lives and I think the people around us have a big influence on how we react to those situations. (I know there are those who are saying "not me" but yes you too.)

I have a friend who moved to Japan for three years with her husband. She doesn't know anyone there, nor can she speak Japanese. But she went with an open mind and open heart to see whats there for her in this journey of her life. I think she had such a great mind set, because the people who surround her were positive about her going. They didn't tell her she shouldn't go, or that she will hate it. No we all encouraged her to know she can do this. We did tell her it wouldn't be easy at first, but that she would be able to push past that and enjoy herself. If she had people around her telling her she was crazy or it's a bad idea, I think her move would have been much harder.

Also when someone is fighting with a spouse, these positive people come into play. How would you like it if you knew your spouse (or other person) had a friend, who every time you got into an argument or disagreement, (whatever you call it, cause we all have them) told your person to leave you. Just because of an argument. No you want a friend who just might tell you that in the argument, you might be wrong, or just forgive whatever they did because they love you, or tell you to breathe before you make any crazy decisions.

Another time is when you might just be going through a tough time in life. A loss of a friend or family member. A break up. Or just plan old going a little nuts. (yes we all do that too) at that time you want positive people around you to make sure you don't believe the things your brain is telling you that are negative. Or tell you everything will be ok. Or just be there for you.

I don't think just when someone is angry, for any reason, should the person you talk to just be mad cause your mad. Sad yes. But mad no. Get mad when it is valid. But just be there for someone in any of these situations to be a friend who is just there and listens.