Well as u know from my last post, I am turning my life around and getting healthy. I know it doesn't happen overnight. But the efforts, goals and accountability that I have in and around me, keep me positive about the journey I'm on.
Ok, so the place I gain the most is my belly. I joke (half insecure) when my sister is around with her eighth month old baby boy (my precious nephew) that I, look like I, just had him, not her. But such is life and that's where I gain it. Everyone is different.
But this last weekend, while having a kid free weekend, and feeling free and beautiful. A friend pats my belly (in regards to me saying my pants keep falling down) "well if you loose the belly." now pause- I know already that I have a belly as I mentioned before, and I know I am doing stuff to take steps to loosing it.-ok unpause. To say the least I was mortified. She said it soft enough that only I could hear, but at the time I was finally not focused on my weight and how I look. I constantly think about how I look, so when it's not on my mind, it is very relaxing.
So of course, I cry, and say "I can't believe you said that" an run outside to tell my loving husband. Who went on to tell me how beautiful and funny i am and everyone likes me. So he gave me the comfort I needed. But I couldn't shake it.
I am not one to be sad... Umm at all. I don't like it and don't see the point. I would much rather laugh then be sad or mad. So the rest of the night I couldn't shake it and everyone could tell I wasn't myself, so every time someone asked if I was ok, it would make me break down again. (I know such a girl)
But, ok, to sum up. I was devastated and felt huge! But went on to have an even better Monday and fitness goal week, month and year. I want to be fit. And not to rub it in anyone's face, because the woman (yes woman) who said it apologized and felt horrible. But more to take charge of how I felt in that situation. I felt weak and like some one pointed me out in my bra and underwear. So I need to take control of myself, so I look an feel the way I want and that which is heathy, so that if anything happens like that again, I can laugh it off instead of have it ruin my night completely.
So to sum it up, along with my last blog, I am as on board as I want to be toward fitness. I want it to be a lifestyle not a diet. But also, be careful what you say, you never know what place the person your saying anything to, is in.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Saying goodby to the ill start tomorrows
So we all know how the saying "ill start tomorrow" goes. It is used for multiple things!! Laundry, cleaning, working out, eating right, being kind. There is just one thing, usually the "tomorrow" part doesn't happen "tomorrow."
I have lost weight and gained. I had my first son and then lost some of the weight after. Then had my second and have not lost since. I have actually gotten bigger. I still look pregnant. Every time I tried, I would fail or have cravings because I wasn't getting enough of something.
So this will now become my journey to health. A.J. Jacobs writes a book about "drop dead healthy" (which I am currently reading) but instead of all the fad diets, it's more about over all health. Such as stand instead of sit all the time, turn down the volume in your life, and chew slowly. But his goal wasn't to be the skinniest ever, just as healthy as he could be. I am agreeing with him. I want to be healthy. I think the loose fit clothing will go hand in hand with that.
So I have signed up for a beachbody membership. It has coaches and groups and meal plans. It tracks your progress and workouts. Everyone is very nice and encouraging. I plan to workout 5-7 days a week. Wether it is walking/running or a hard core video. I just want to be active. But with the meal plan they give you, I can now have the right nutrient when trying to get the weight off for good.
So I am going to try to blog my journey to health/fatlostforgood. I turn thirty in eight months. So I plan to look better by then. Cause as we all know, fast results don't always stay. :)
I have lost weight and gained. I had my first son and then lost some of the weight after. Then had my second and have not lost since. I have actually gotten bigger. I still look pregnant. Every time I tried, I would fail or have cravings because I wasn't getting enough of something.
So this will now become my journey to health. A.J. Jacobs writes a book about "drop dead healthy" (which I am currently reading) but instead of all the fad diets, it's more about over all health. Such as stand instead of sit all the time, turn down the volume in your life, and chew slowly. But his goal wasn't to be the skinniest ever, just as healthy as he could be. I am agreeing with him. I want to be healthy. I think the loose fit clothing will go hand in hand with that.
So I have signed up for a beachbody membership. It has coaches and groups and meal plans. It tracks your progress and workouts. Everyone is very nice and encouraging. I plan to workout 5-7 days a week. Wether it is walking/running or a hard core video. I just want to be active. But with the meal plan they give you, I can now have the right nutrient when trying to get the weight off for good.
So I am going to try to blog my journey to health/fatlostforgood. I turn thirty in eight months. So I plan to look better by then. Cause as we all know, fast results don't always stay. :)
Friday, September 21, 2012
Everything is alright.
Ever felt like, everyone has it together, but you? I constantly struggle with this. I feel like other mothers do more with their kids. Or other ladys have more drive, persistence, and even dedication then I do. But is that really the case? One mom/lady might have a great made up home, with the cutest decorations, but maybe she isn't happy. Then there is the mom or lady who has her workout routine down and eats healthy, but maybe it is a struggle everyday for her to not eat candy or just over eat. As a mom, it is hard to not look at other moms and compare yourself. Some scrapebook, some make their kids costumes, some make all food from scratch. Every mom has her trades and great qualities. But it doesnt mean they have it all together. It doesn't mean that they don't have the same bad days as I do. But yet we all still feel alone in how we feel. Whenever someone asks me about my kids, or marriage, or just life, I say it's hard. I don't lie. It is hard. Is it fun and have its perks and most days arent the bad days, but sometimes they are. Why lie to someone who might feel like I do about everyone having it all together. Then when I tell most anyone who asks, the real truth about my life, they always feel so much better that they aren't the only one. Isn't that what we all want. To not be alone/loney, or feel like what is happening in your life, your not the only one who is going through it. So when someone asks, "how's everything?" don't just say "everythings alright" tell them, your having a bad day, or whatever you may be going through, cause you might just find your not alone, or you might just make someone feel better that they are not the only one going through a tough time.
Monday, September 10, 2012
A help or a hindrance?
Are the people around you a help or a hindrance? This is what I sometimes wonder, when someone is going through a hard time or a move or just seeking advice. Are the people around you positive or negative? The reasons I say this is we have situations come into our lives and I think the people around us have a big influence on how we react to those situations. (I know there are those who are saying "not me" but yes you too.)
I have a friend who moved to Japan for three years with her husband. She doesn't know anyone there, nor can she speak Japanese. But she went with an open mind and open heart to see whats there for her in this journey of her life. I think she had such a great mind set, because the people who surround her were positive about her going. They didn't tell her she shouldn't go, or that she will hate it. No we all encouraged her to know she can do this. We did tell her it wouldn't be easy at first, but that she would be able to push past that and enjoy herself. If she had people around her telling her she was crazy or it's a bad idea, I think her move would have been much harder.
Also when someone is fighting with a spouse, these positive people come into play. How would you like it if you knew your spouse (or other person) had a friend, who every time you got into an argument or disagreement, (whatever you call it, cause we all have them) told your person to leave you. Just because of an argument. No you want a friend who just might tell you that in the argument, you might be wrong, or just forgive whatever they did because they love you, or tell you to breathe before you make any crazy decisions.
Another time is when you might just be going through a tough time in life. A loss of a friend or family member. A break up. Or just plan old going a little nuts. (yes we all do that too) at that time you want positive people around you to make sure you don't believe the things your brain is telling you that are negative. Or tell you everything will be ok. Or just be there for you.
I don't think just when someone is angry, for any reason, should the person you talk to just be mad cause your mad. Sad yes. But mad no. Get mad when it is valid. But just be there for someone in any of these situations to be a friend who is just there and listens.
I have a friend who moved to Japan for three years with her husband. She doesn't know anyone there, nor can she speak Japanese. But she went with an open mind and open heart to see whats there for her in this journey of her life. I think she had such a great mind set, because the people who surround her were positive about her going. They didn't tell her she shouldn't go, or that she will hate it. No we all encouraged her to know she can do this. We did tell her it wouldn't be easy at first, but that she would be able to push past that and enjoy herself. If she had people around her telling her she was crazy or it's a bad idea, I think her move would have been much harder.
Also when someone is fighting with a spouse, these positive people come into play. How would you like it if you knew your spouse (or other person) had a friend, who every time you got into an argument or disagreement, (whatever you call it, cause we all have them) told your person to leave you. Just because of an argument. No you want a friend who just might tell you that in the argument, you might be wrong, or just forgive whatever they did because they love you, or tell you to breathe before you make any crazy decisions.
Another time is when you might just be going through a tough time in life. A loss of a friend or family member. A break up. Or just plan old going a little nuts. (yes we all do that too) at that time you want positive people around you to make sure you don't believe the things your brain is telling you that are negative. Or tell you everything will be ok. Or just be there for you.
I don't think just when someone is angry, for any reason, should the person you talk to just be mad cause your mad. Sad yes. But mad no. Get mad when it is valid. But just be there for someone in any of these situations to be a friend who is just there and listens.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
The tales of a nagging wife.
There are many ways to get a man to do what you want. One, you can ask him nicely. Two, you can drop subtle hints until he figures out what the heck you want. Three, you can just put him down for anything he does wrong till he, maybe, does it right. Four you can completely complain about all the things he does wrong to everyone an still yell at him about what he does or doesn't do. (these don't work well)
A nagging wife, has yet to see the fruitfulness (sounds biblical I know) of a wife who uplifts her husband. The nagging wife will complain about what her husband hasn't done and she will complain it not only to him but to everyone. (not good for mans self esteem, hence the reason he probably isn't doing good in the first place)
See men need to at least think they are doing things right so they continue to try hard to do all you ask of them. They want to show off and be "superman" to everyone else but be "Clark kent" with their wives. So we can't talk poorly about them outside the home because it actually makes them be worse in our home.
We all know, behind a good man, there is a good women. Every good man will go back to his wife, sister, mother or friend to seek advice on what he is planning. (like I said a good man, not all do this but, are they good men) but being said, that good man has a good wife, sister, mother or friend who sits on the side lines, just watching him in his glory. Doesn't brag about the idea she gave him or how she made him be the way he is. Every good man knows this is true. They will boast about their wife, sister, mother, or friend. They will love them. They will do everything to be what that person wants or needs. Because they have had the same love shown to them.
So nagging wives. Stop talking to your husbands about the bath towels on the ground or the socks that never get put in the hamper. Stop nagging about the little things that really don't matter. Here is a challenge, the next time you feel yourself getting mad about something your husband does (that doesn't really matter) think of something good to tell him he did instead.
We all like hearing the good instead of the bad, and there is a time to talk about what "bad" there might be to talk about. But not everyday not every moment. Bring more good into your relationship then bad. It will do wonders for your relationship.
A nagging wife, has yet to see the fruitfulness (sounds biblical I know) of a wife who uplifts her husband. The nagging wife will complain about what her husband hasn't done and she will complain it not only to him but to everyone. (not good for mans self esteem, hence the reason he probably isn't doing good in the first place)
See men need to at least think they are doing things right so they continue to try hard to do all you ask of them. They want to show off and be "superman" to everyone else but be "Clark kent" with their wives. So we can't talk poorly about them outside the home because it actually makes them be worse in our home.
We all know, behind a good man, there is a good women. Every good man will go back to his wife, sister, mother or friend to seek advice on what he is planning. (like I said a good man, not all do this but, are they good men) but being said, that good man has a good wife, sister, mother or friend who sits on the side lines, just watching him in his glory. Doesn't brag about the idea she gave him or how she made him be the way he is. Every good man knows this is true. They will boast about their wife, sister, mother, or friend. They will love them. They will do everything to be what that person wants or needs. Because they have had the same love shown to them.
So nagging wives. Stop talking to your husbands about the bath towels on the ground or the socks that never get put in the hamper. Stop nagging about the little things that really don't matter. Here is a challenge, the next time you feel yourself getting mad about something your husband does (that doesn't really matter) think of something good to tell him he did instead.
We all like hearing the good instead of the bad, and there is a time to talk about what "bad" there might be to talk about. But not everyday not every moment. Bring more good into your relationship then bad. It will do wonders for your relationship.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Tumble weed friend
We all know what a tumble weed is. It's basically a bush that turns into a big ball of weeds that rolls from here to there and may get stuck sometimes but just keeps rolling.
Well this week I feel like that is me in friendships. I feel like I go from friend to friend, sometimes I hang around long and sometimes for only a short while. But for some reason the wind blows me away. May it be on my part or theirs is the question.
I see people who have close friendships and close friends they have had forever and sometimes I wonder why can't I have that. Yes I may be having a pitty party but it's how I feel, like it or not.
What makes a good friend? I feel like I can be a good friend. I am nice and I love to have fun and laugh, but I can also be serious. Am I doing something wrong? Not sure.
Truth be told it is a lonely feeling. And hopefully you know I am talking about a good girlfriend. My husband of course is my best friend but even he doesn't get it.
Maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places. Or maybe I give off a bad vibe. If you have good friends, I would love your input on what you think I could do better. Just spilling my thoughts.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Well this week I feel like that is me in friendships. I feel like I go from friend to friend, sometimes I hang around long and sometimes for only a short while. But for some reason the wind blows me away. May it be on my part or theirs is the question.
I see people who have close friendships and close friends they have had forever and sometimes I wonder why can't I have that. Yes I may be having a pitty party but it's how I feel, like it or not.
What makes a good friend? I feel like I can be a good friend. I am nice and I love to have fun and laugh, but I can also be serious. Am I doing something wrong? Not sure.
Truth be told it is a lonely feeling. And hopefully you know I am talking about a good girlfriend. My husband of course is my best friend but even he doesn't get it.
Maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places. Or maybe I give off a bad vibe. If you have good friends, I would love your input on what you think I could do better. Just spilling my thoughts.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
My new found joy of biking-cycling!
I am in constant battle with my weight since having babies I just can't seem to get back to my goal weight. Well if we are being honest, I have battled with my weight ever since my parents separated when I was eleven. Food became my friend, and my mom filled the house with really good (bad for you) foods. I have even gone as far as did drugs to lose the weight.
But from it all learned to eat right and exercise. I also try not to eat past seven at night. But I first started with running. I loved pushing myself, I have even done a marathon, and two half marathons. I do the mud run almost every year.
I do love running, but it is hard on my body, and since having kids (and gaining a few lbs) my back seems to have the most issues. My husband has always enjoyed biking, and suggested the other day that we go. The daylight is longer and we take full advantage! We have a girl up the street who comes every Tuesday and Daniel and I have been biking then. It is amazing how strong I feel when biking! I don't hurt the way I do when running. I can push myself and I love to feel accomplished.
So that is why my new found joy is in biking! For me it is good for my body right now, and will help me reach my goal weight! :)
But from it all learned to eat right and exercise. I also try not to eat past seven at night. But I first started with running. I loved pushing myself, I have even done a marathon, and two half marathons. I do the mud run almost every year.
I do love running, but it is hard on my body, and since having kids (and gaining a few lbs) my back seems to have the most issues. My husband has always enjoyed biking, and suggested the other day that we go. The daylight is longer and we take full advantage! We have a girl up the street who comes every Tuesday and Daniel and I have been biking then. It is amazing how strong I feel when biking! I don't hurt the way I do when running. I can push myself and I love to feel accomplished.
So that is why my new found joy is in biking! For me it is good for my body right now, and will help me reach my goal weight! :)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
When moms finally get time alone!
This weekend all my boys are gone for a couple days. I get the house to myself, and no one asking for cups of water, or food or just talking to me. I get quiet.
It sounds amazing I know, but this is what happens when mom's get time alone. Our brain thinks of all the things we could do since our kids are gone, luandry, cleaning etc. But then we also want to have time to catch up on movies we havent seen, or friends we havent talk to. Sleep we have missed.
So I will do a little of both. I will clean if I feel like it, and rest when I feel tired, go walk the mountain because I feel like it! I will give myself the attention i pour out on my family everyday. Rejovenate myself so when my boys get back, I can be a better mom. :)
It sounds amazing I know, but this is what happens when mom's get time alone. Our brain thinks of all the things we could do since our kids are gone, luandry, cleaning etc. But then we also want to have time to catch up on movies we havent seen, or friends we havent talk to. Sleep we have missed.
So I will do a little of both. I will clean if I feel like it, and rest when I feel tired, go walk the mountain because I feel like it! I will give myself the attention i pour out on my family everyday. Rejovenate myself so when my boys get back, I can be a better mom. :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Half marathon!
So I did it!! I finished the silver strand half marathon!! It was so beautiful, and for the most part, I felt great. At mile ten, my feet went numb, so I stopped and untied my shoe a bit and I was off again. I was beat by the end, but I had a 12.47 minute mile, and for me that was awesome.
Maybe next race, I can beat my time. They are so fun to race and you feel so good doing them. I kept thinking, "when will this be over" but i reminded myself to enjoy it, because it would soon be over, and not everyone gets to experience this.
Sorry this is so scattered, but I had a second to write, so this is what you get. I will put up pictures when I get them.
Talk to you later!
Maybe next race, I can beat my time. They are so fun to race and you feel so good doing them. I kept thinking, "when will this be over" but i reminded myself to enjoy it, because it would soon be over, and not everyone gets to experience this.
Sorry this is so scattered, but I had a second to write, so this is what you get. I will put up pictures when I get them.
Talk to you later!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I love being a girl!
As I was blow drying my hair this morning (which is much easier when it's cold, since I have long, thick hair)I was thinking how much fun I have getting ready for the day. I have always enjoyed doing my makeup and trying new looks with it. I love dressing up and curling my hair.
But for some reason it has become "girly" (in a bad way) to like these things. I think women are so different and no we don't need a bunch of makeup to look good, but I don't think it's bad to like to be "girly." there are plenty of athletes who were pink or get sparkly before they run a race or play a volleyball tournament and so on.
All i am saying is we should embrace the "girly" and if you don't like it, don't knock the ones who do. It is just fun for us. I could sit and do my makeup and be so happy the whole time I am doing it. Us "girly" girls just like it.
Yes I completely realize I am shouting my (girly) side right now, but i don't care. :)
Talk to you later!
But for some reason it has become "girly" (in a bad way) to like these things. I think women are so different and no we don't need a bunch of makeup to look good, but I don't think it's bad to like to be "girly." there are plenty of athletes who were pink or get sparkly before they run a race or play a volleyball tournament and so on.
All i am saying is we should embrace the "girly" and if you don't like it, don't knock the ones who do. It is just fun for us. I could sit and do my makeup and be so happy the whole time I am doing it. Us "girly" girls just like it.
Yes I completely realize I am shouting my (girly) side right now, but i don't care. :)
Talk to you later!
Friday, October 15, 2010
For Grace
About a year ago, my friend lost a baby to trisomy. You can find her story here It was heartbreaking.
I think the hardest thing was not knowing what to say. Still not knowing what to say. Just being there for a friend when she might need it. I am sure this will be one of the hardest days of there parenting lives. But I know God will comfort them and wrap them in his love.
So this day is dedicated to Grace. Grace is loved and remembered by her family and friends. She is with her heavenly father now and they will see each other again one day in heaven. But for today, Grace we remember you, and the love you brought to your parents.
I am glad to say they are expecting another baby girl, in early December.
Kim and Bobby, we love you!
I think the hardest thing was not knowing what to say. Still not knowing what to say. Just being there for a friend when she might need it. I am sure this will be one of the hardest days of there parenting lives. But I know God will comfort them and wrap them in his love.
So this day is dedicated to Grace. Grace is loved and remembered by her family and friends. She is with her heavenly father now and they will see each other again one day in heaven. But for today, Grace we remember you, and the love you brought to your parents.
I am glad to say they are expecting another baby girl, in early December.
Kim and Bobby, we love you!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
An outsider looking in!
Sometime I feel, like I am on the outside, and I am waiting to get in. Into what you might question, I have no idea. I am missing something in my life that is making me this way (running for sure) (maybe a close friend) Who knows, but I am sick of feeling this way.
I also don't like, that by the time, I have time to blog, my brain shuts off and can't think of the million things, I have thought about blogging earlier!
More blogs to come, just had to get that off my mind.
Talk to you later!
I also don't like, that by the time, I have time to blog, my brain shuts off and can't think of the million things, I have thought about blogging earlier!
More blogs to come, just had to get that off my mind.
Talk to you later!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Just a little fun!!
After reading my sister in laws, blog followings, i found this gal! She is motivating and funny!
She is having a giveaway , with a lady who has racedaymemories.blogspot.com and scrapbooks for your runs....I know how awesome, when (if your like me) don't have the time or the creativity, someone can do it for you and have a ton of fun. Check it out.
http://racingwithbabes.blogspot.com/2010/09/race-day-memories-giveaway.html
She is having a giveaway , with a lady who has racedaymemories.blogspot.com and scrapbooks for your runs....I know how awesome, when (if your like me) don't have the time or the creativity, someone can do it for you and have a ton of fun. Check it out.
http://racingwithbabes.blogspot.com/2010/09/race-day-memories-giveaway.html
Friday, August 20, 2010
Friday Funnies!!
It's Friday Funnies. I am trying to remember all the Funnies this week.
<[/a>
Mommy look, its Cinderella and "white snow," of course he was trying to say snow white!!
**************
Mommy can I pee in your shower, it will go down the "dreem" :)
**************
Mommy what do "stabs" do? (meaning scabs!)
**************
Mommy I want a "gorilla nar" (granola bar, he used many ways to say that one)
*************
Uh-o mommy its the "mugg boot" (for the ugg boot we use to keep the gate open to the kitchen)
Not too many but its a start, hope you enjoyed!
Talk to you later!
<[/a>Mommy look, its Cinderella and "white snow," of course he was trying to say snow white!!
**************
Mommy can I pee in your shower, it will go down the "dreem" :)
**************
Mommy what do "stabs" do? (meaning scabs!)
**************
Mommy I want a "gorilla nar" (granola bar, he used many ways to say that one)
*************
Uh-o mommy its the "mugg boot" (for the ugg boot we use to keep the gate open to the kitchen)
Not too many but its a start, hope you enjoyed!
Talk to you later!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Peace
For some reason, today, I feel peace. Peace with my kids, with my husband, with my un-training, my un-dieting, and with how in life I feel a peace that everything IS going to be ok.
God will lead my path and it may get hard, but I know it will all be OK!
Today I have a peace in my mind about how the people who are in my life and are there for me, are really just that....there for me. I can count on them, even if my crazy mind tells me they don't care or I can't count on them.
But the peace won't last. I will have bad days, so I am writing this as a reminder for when things get bad, that they WILL get better!
Thanks to you all in my life!
Talk to you later!
God will lead my path and it may get hard, but I know it will all be OK!
Today I have a peace in my mind about how the people who are in my life and are there for me, are really just that....there for me. I can count on them, even if my crazy mind tells me they don't care or I can't count on them.
But the peace won't last. I will have bad days, so I am writing this as a reminder for when things get bad, that they WILL get better!
Thanks to you all in my life!
Talk to you later!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Is the cleaning ever done!
This weekend my grandma of eighty something is visiting us from Hawaii. She is Japanese and has not been out here since I was about two, maybe one. We have gone out there to visit but it is all so expensive with a husband and a three year old, and a one year old. I would love to go some day, but when the boys are older.
But this has giving us an excuse to deep clean our house. My husband does an excellent job of this, and is very meticulous about it. I find myself loathing him while cleaning, because I would just skip some of the things he does. But the house is getting back to normal, before the baby normal.
The thing is, it doesn't stay that way long. My area yesterday was the dining room, thinking YAY cause it is small, and it won't take very long. When I was done, it was time to eat.....ummm "let's eat on the floor," did not pan out that way though, so dinner was at the table. So I of course wiped the table down good, but then there was toys, bags and mail on the table. It just doesn't quit.
Like the dishes, they just keep coming...not complaining, I am not above cleaning. It is very therapeutic for me, but when it is something that I have to do instead of want to, it gets tough when it does not stay clean!
Talk to you later!
But this has giving us an excuse to deep clean our house. My husband does an excellent job of this, and is very meticulous about it. I find myself loathing him while cleaning, because I would just skip some of the things he does. But the house is getting back to normal, before the baby normal.
The thing is, it doesn't stay that way long. My area yesterday was the dining room, thinking YAY cause it is small, and it won't take very long. When I was done, it was time to eat.....ummm "let's eat on the floor," did not pan out that way though, so dinner was at the table. So I of course wiped the table down good, but then there was toys, bags and mail on the table. It just doesn't quit.
Like the dishes, they just keep coming...not complaining, I am not above cleaning. It is very therapeutic for me, but when it is something that I have to do instead of want to, it gets tough when it does not stay clean!
Talk to you later!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Don't pen me in!
The other day (yesterday to be exact,) I was (it's horrible) willing to sell my baby! Rather give him away! I know there are other couples who are trying to have a child, and they would be more then happy to take my screaming, (throwing things at me) baby! (what kind of mother am I)
I realized he just does not like to be "penned in" so to speak. I use a barricade in my living room to keep him in one area in front of the couch. So I went to babiesrus, and got a gate for our kitchen.....life has been great ever since! Of course these feelings of mine are overwhelming, how could I feel so bad that I would think someone else is more deserving of my baby!
I am just like Aiden. I don't like to be labeled and I don't like being told what I can't do. But I have realized that circumstances in my life have "penned me in" to things that I can't change (quickly.) I can't change that I love to dance and wish my parents would have put me in it at three, because I would have been the happiest little girl and gone throughout life dancing! Of course I can start now and be just as happy.
I think I might just write an autobiography, just to give myself therapy, of what I am "not allowed" to say, may someone will finally listen if it is in a book.(?) Not to sound bitter, but it is really hard to be going through all this "self finding" when you have a husband, and two kids.
But I think every mom, at any age or stage of life, goes though this, and probably not just once. It is just not always fun, or easy, but the thing I can always lean on, is that God is the one leading my crazy-ness, so I know it will only lead to good, and I love the peace I feel when I see a glimpse of what he is doing to me and my family!
Talk to you later!
I realized he just does not like to be "penned in" so to speak. I use a barricade in my living room to keep him in one area in front of the couch. So I went to babiesrus, and got a gate for our kitchen.....life has been great ever since! Of course these feelings of mine are overwhelming, how could I feel so bad that I would think someone else is more deserving of my baby!
I am just like Aiden. I don't like to be labeled and I don't like being told what I can't do. But I have realized that circumstances in my life have "penned me in" to things that I can't change (quickly.) I can't change that I love to dance and wish my parents would have put me in it at three, because I would have been the happiest little girl and gone throughout life dancing! Of course I can start now and be just as happy.
I think I might just write an autobiography, just to give myself therapy, of what I am "not allowed" to say, may someone will finally listen if it is in a book.(?) Not to sound bitter, but it is really hard to be going through all this "self finding" when you have a husband, and two kids.
But I think every mom, at any age or stage of life, goes though this, and probably not just once. It is just not always fun, or easy, but the thing I can always lean on, is that God is the one leading my crazy-ness, so I know it will only lead to good, and I love the peace I feel when I see a glimpse of what he is doing to me and my family!
Talk to you later!
Monday, August 2, 2010
I've got a second!
So this may be short, but definitely sweet! We had a crazy vacation last week, and I learned I am not a relaxed or flexible person, unless someone eases me there. It was chaotic, fun and trying all in one!
We did karaoke, which I have not mentioned before, but I love to sing! It makes my heart and mind happy! So singing with bunch of people who are singing too....I am hooked!!
I also have to now get back in the swing of running, and training, but more on that later.
I just have had no time to blog lately and I miss it, so I am blogging whether or not it is, long, meaningful, or even (dare I say it) funny.....(pain just went through me.) I love to laugh! Even if it is at myself!
Talk to you later!
We did karaoke, which I have not mentioned before, but I love to sing! It makes my heart and mind happy! So singing with bunch of people who are singing too....I am hooked!!
I also have to now get back in the swing of running, and training, but more on that later.
I just have had no time to blog lately and I miss it, so I am blogging whether or not it is, long, meaningful, or even (dare I say it) funny.....(pain just went through me.) I love to laugh! Even if it is at myself!
Talk to you later!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Looking up!
So this week I am on vacation, and usually when on vacation, I run harder because Daniel will be there to help me with the kids. But this one, I am giving my back a break and resting for a week to see if that helps.
I am also finding that I am not satisfied with anything these days! It is depressing! I realized, I might be looking at all the negative and that is why I am not satisfied with anything.
So I am starting a new way of thinking.....looking up....or positive thinking. When something is not right or the way I want (or think it should be) I am going to look for the good around me. I hope this helps in all areas of life for me.
There is so much negative things going on in the world that we can not control. So I am taking control of the thing I can....my thoughts!
Talk to you soon!!
I am also finding that I am not satisfied with anything these days! It is depressing! I realized, I might be looking at all the negative and that is why I am not satisfied with anything.
So I am starting a new way of thinking.....looking up....or positive thinking. When something is not right or the way I want (or think it should be) I am going to look for the good around me. I hope this helps in all areas of life for me.
There is so much negative things going on in the world that we can not control. So I am taking control of the thing I can....my thoughts!
Talk to you soon!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)